January 10, 2012

Values Guide Difficult Talks

Before you have the actual Difficult Talk, you have to decide that it is the path you want to take. (Chances are, if you’re thinking about it, it is the correct path.)

But the toughest talk you will probably ever have is the one you’re going to have with yourself about having the Difficult Talk. I devoted an entire chapter of the book to this area.

In order to shift from thinking “I need to have this Tough Talk,” to “I will have this Difficult Talk,” the key is knowing your values.

What are “values“?. To the dictionary, values (both as a verb and a noun) is defined as “to consider with respect to worth, excellence, usefulness, or importance.” That is easy enough to understand and apply to life.

A few values:

  • Honesty
  • Integrity
  • Fairness
  • Compassion

In general, a Difficult Talk comes out of a value feeling threatened and understanding the value that you have and in what way it is being threatened. That will help you determine how to go about having a conversation.

How can having a difficult conversation help address a value that is in conflict?

Related posts:

  1. Goal of a Difficult Talk
  2. Why You Should Have a Difficult Talk
  3. Tip Sheet: Face the Challenge of Difficult Talks

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